Spa Junkie is at the Capri Palace Beauty Farm for a two-day programme that includes weight loss and a taste of its famous Leg School.
DAY TWO: 2pm
In the afternoon I have a cold stone massage therapy. You’ll have heard of, or even tried, a hot stone massage, whereby uniquely procured and treated smooth volcanic rocks are heated and then used to massage deeply into tired and strained muscles. This is the exact opposite: the stones are frozen and kept in ice for the entire treatment.
“Lie face up,” commands my therapist. I’m in a 7ft-long cement basin. She presses large iced stones against my feet and starts pummelling my thighs and legs. She replaces the stones after every minute to ensure that maximum pain and discomfort are afflicted. And just as I breathe a sigh of relief at being done… Not so fast. “Turn over, please; we need to do the other side.” I’m freezing.
“Are you doing Leg School later?” the therapist asks. “Y-yes,” I stammer back. She is laughing out loud because I’m wincing from the cold; the stones are freezing, and she digs them into me with quite a force. Also, I’m lying on a cement bed, which fills with cold water as the treatment goes on – ugh. “Good luck!”
Leg School is particularly uncomfortable today: the same mud wrap, bandages and water therapy – but as it’s cold and rainy, and the water circuit is outside, it’s pretty miserable being herded round and round through hot and cold water with only the basic essentials to cover your modesty.
The day finishes with a physiotherapy massage, to focus on my back “wings”, and then The Italian and I have a lovely dinner together on the terrace. I am on Delicatezza; he is on Healthy Diet. You can hardly tell the difference – mine are smaller portions, but I don’t feel at all like a freak at the supper table.
THE BOTTOM LINE
I desperately wish I had booked in for a seven-day stay. I do see a marginal, but clearly visible, improvement in my thighs. Obviously, I can’t say hand on heart if this works, not having completed even the shorter full course, but my gut tells me this place is the real deal. I am almost certain that if I had done a full seven days on the 800-calorie diet, with the exercise programme and the daily Leg School, I would have dropped a jean size. And been happy to audition for the Victoria’s Secret lingerie show in September.
Our total bill was €2,970 for a three-night weekend stay and treatments.
Spa Junkie pays for all her own travel, treatments and accommodation.