Spa Junkie is coming to the end of a six-day detox at the Mayr & More clinic in Austria.
I cancel all my treatments today. Sometimes I think my spa schedule would make a FTSE 100 CEO balk. Every spa I’ve ever been to seems compelled to fill the days with treatments, some of which I may need and some of which, quite frankly, I don’t. I’m learning not to succumb to the umpteen classes and treatments; now I cherry pick what I know works and a few of what I’d like to try, but make sure to factor in wide swathes of time for rest and sport. The morning swim, mountain hikes and lakeside reposes on the deck, together with a nutritious and well-thought-through menu, are working. I don’t feel the need to do anything more. Besides, I am only doing a short stay; with most treatments you need a minimum of five, so I’m mindful of that. It saves time, and money.
In the afternoon, I have my last session with Tanja, and we go through the food-intolerance and allergy-test results. It transpires that I am intolerant of wheat, eggs, casein, gluten, spelt and, strangely, mustard. She explains how to identify and avoid these foods at restaurants. Then I’m given a book created especially for me, detailing menus for me to cook at home based on what my body tolerates best. I am thrilled – and clock with huge relief that wine seems perfectly fine.
THE BOTTOM LINE
My agenda when booking at Mayr & More was purely vanity-based: I had a week’s sailing holiday booked in Italy with four Italian couples. I don’t need to elaborate on the Italian under-40, eat-as-much-as-you-like physique. I, meanwhile, was bloated and heavier from a harrowing three-week transatlantic work surge. Not being blessed with those same genes, I’d blown up by a dress size.
The Mayr & More delivered on all counts. I dropped 3.2kg in a week. My face de-puffed. The whites of my eyes were whiter, my skin was clearer. But now it’s four weeks on and, regrettably, the regimen isn’t sustainable in the real world. Chewing stale bread and sipping tea with a spoon is not on any civilised menu, and hardly the thing to do at the bar at Scott’s. I can’t ingest Epsom salts each morning to ensure regularity when travelling. When I brought this up with Ilana, she said I need to come back for a proper experience.
So I have vowed to go back in a few months to do the full, official stint. I have been promised that Dr Bolvari – who I didn’t have the opportunity to work with – will be able to rid me of most of my longstanding gut-related issues if I dedicate two weeks to the clinic.
Spa Junkie pays for all her own travel, accommodation and treatments.