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Swellboy on… the launch of an iPad app

Enriching uranium? No doubt there’s an iPad app for that, too

Swellboy on… the launch of an iPad app

Image: Brijesh Patel

July 08 2010
Nick Foulkes

The other evening I attended the launch of a new iPad application on the beach in Marbella. I am not generally an attendee of application launches, or indeed launches of anything much; nevertheless I was in town working on a new book and by about 10 o’clock in the evening I felt like a break so I wandered down to La Suite beach club.

I wish people would launch more things on the beach: it is, as the young people might say, chilled (except of course it was a balmy evening, but you know what I mean). Moreover, this not being England, people were still sober and a nice young lady took me through the thing which, had I wished it to, would have directed me to the Marbella Club Grill and for all I know ordered my dinner there. (Although of course as a man of the world I know where the Marbella Club Grill is and I am on first-name terms with both the cheese soufflé and the chocolate mousse there.)

As the president of my local chapter of the Marbella fan club, I am naturally delighted to see any kind of innovation that boosts the area. However, I find that I am nearing app-for-everything overload. I daresay that if I wanted to launch my own space exploration programme, or begin enriching my own uranium in my kitchen, or translate the complete works of Shakespeare into cockney rhyming slang there would be an app for that.

I don’t know about you, but I find it slightly chilling that everything, pretty much the entire canon of human endeavour in all fields, can now be reduced to a few finger movements across a screen. However there are still some experiences that cannot be reduced to a flick and a pinch of Mr Jobs’s technology, such as the double portion of chocolate mousse I went on to have at the Marbella Club Grill; not perhaps the healthiest of activities, but absolutely delicious nevertheless. And besides, if I keel over from a heart attack, I will do so in the hope that there is an app for that too.