Health & Grooming | Chronicles of a Spa Junkie

Spa Junkie with… Nish Joshi

It’s a clinic that promises ‘exceptional holistic care’ – but what does it actually deliver?

Spa Junkie with… Nish Joshi

Image: Jay Yeo.

May 19 2011
Spa Junkie

Part: 1 | 2

Spa Junkie is returning for a second consultation with holistic practitioner Nish Joshi.

SESSION TWO: TWO WEEKS LATER

I am still seething from what felt like broad daylight robbery. But having paid that small fortune, I did the tests. Today I arrive firmly on time; I want my full money’s worth and then some. I try to keep an open mind, reminding myself that his practice has been going for many years.

We go through the results, and as expected (by me, anyway) there is nothing wrong with my thyroid. I have very slight anaemia. He dismisses the tests: “We must deal with your exhaustion and stress levels. You have to cut down on caffeine.” I decline another cupping session. He spends the next few minutes pitching me the benefits of his private gym and whips out the details of a detox retreat he is leading soon. “You don’t know who you might meet at my retreats,” he says, and proceeds to drop a handful of celebrity names. “And you will lose a few kilos too,” he adds, with a giddy little smile. I make not the slightest effort to hide the fact that I’m not amused.

Needless to say, I have never gone back. The countless bottles of supplements are still in my cupboard; his book lies unopened. I didn’t complete further treatments, so cannot comment on their effectiveness; but just last week a friend of mine was raving about “this guru Dr Joshi”, so there must, for some anyway, be some magic to his method. “Exceptional holistic care and expertise” is what he claims on his website. It’s indisputably a noble notion; however, my personal experience with it, and him, served only to remind me why I write this column.

Spa Junkie pays for all her own travel, accommodation and treatments.